Are You an Unconscious Dualist?

Yesterday I went to my first Sangha.  And learned how to actually pronounce the word.  LOL  I've read it hundreds of times!  There's a little local group here.  I'll have to ask first before I add it to the zaadz list, they may prefer to remain private.  But they were very kind with me and another newcomer. 

I'm starting to see how the work with Higher Consciousness works together with Lower Consciousness.  I'm so grateful that I did my lower work first!!  I think I've relieved so much suffering already so that going Higher can now be free to work for a different agenda.  I really don't like the idea of going Higher in order to avoid suffering.  It really bothers me.  So many people remain unconscious of the dualistic agenda of that.  Even this month's Shambhala Sun magazine is putting it in those terms. 

"In Myths from around the world, men and women have searched for an elixir that will bring protection from suffering.  Buddhism's answer is mindfulness."

The opening pages of the article are supporting the agenda of the avoidance of pain/suffering - as if those were the same.  I get that the Axial age brought about great leaps in consciousness, but it used the developmental levels of the day to translate it.  And we're still using that. 

I am aware of being attached to feeling pain.  From what I understand, Higher Consciousness doesn't relieve one's pain.  It brings more expanded Consciousness to the pain, so that we're actually more present with the pain and avoiding it less!  But people don't typically talk about it that way.  People may rhapsodize about being more present with beauty or goodness, but pain?  Um...     no.  Anger?    Uh......      no.  Fear?     [shuffle, shuffle]  Trying to get a Buddhist to hold space for fear is like trying to get a Fundie-Christian to stop judging people. 

So, until I find some We-space that will be present with me, with my pain, I'll hold my own space, thankyouverymuch.  My pain has taught me so much.  Kept me sane.  Kept me on the Higher path.  Kept me close to Beauty, Truth and Goodness.  Kept me connected to others.  Kept me free from conformity.  Kept my Eros pointed in the right direction so that I would end up here:

Ready to expand past it's boundaries.   I don't think a person is really ready if they haven't made peace with their pain yet.  What they resist, will persist.  It will be an anchor for the soul, keeping them tied to the very thing they are trying to avoid.  I'm losing all such trying.  My chains are very loose now...

I embrace the previously Shadowed precociousness it takes to say such things.  There is no reason to push that away.  My Eros is still pointing upwards, stretching the growing tip.  The tip of that which will be expanded beyond...  towards...  All.  Fullness. 

I'm almost ready to say, "emptiness".  LOL  But not quite.  That word is loaded with associations of avoidance and attachment.  As a woman, that does no appeal to me.  I want to embrace and contain all that the Universe has to offer.  Conquer it all with love.  The article in Shambhala Sun contains a quote from George Washington Carver. 

"Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough."

I am in love with the revealing of such secrets.  The secret of Evil is that it is not the Baddass it wishes it was.  To me, that is a much more worthwhile "Secret" to know than the popular one right now.  It really is weak and frail and totally vulnerable to undoing. 

"I want what you want, Mr. Anderson.  I want everything!"

Blessings and bliss to all.

~Ww