Experimenting With The Fetal Position

Odd, huh?

I woke up this morning feeling very refreshed after a lovely sleep-in.  But since I had cramps, I didn't much feel like getting out of bed yet.  So I rolled around a bit, this way and that, and discovered a huge comfort spike when I lay on my side with my arms pulled in tight against my chest.  In particular, my shoulders had to be scrunched up.  I thought about the feeling of being hugged tight and that it felt like that.  But I made the connection to the Fetal Position as well, and imagined what it must be like to be all balled up like that and where the pressure would be.  It dawned on me that this is why I liked to sleep on my stomach.  And I wondered if this is why strait jackets are made the way they are. 

...

...just did a Google on strait jackets and found out they are a fetish item.  Inneresting.  Totally makes sense. 

I remembered how aweful it was when I was pregnant that I couldn't sleep on my tummy, and that that was the first thing I did after giving birth as soon as they gave me the official okay - rolled over, scrunched up my shoulders, pulled my arms up tight and just laid there.  So, then I tried the honest-to-God Fetal Position; legs and arms pulled in and tight and lay there for a while.  My eyes closed and my mind wandered and I felt the most amazing comfort.  It's like an endorphin thing.  It was literally a rush of chemical yumminess.  I drempt of ways to make a sling that used my bodyweight to pull everything in tight.  It couldn't be that difficult.  Like hanging at the bottom of a giant stocking. 

I want one. 

Then I turned on my heating pad and I couldn't believe the power of all this. 

What does it all mean?  Is this just the most profound expression of my Mother deprivation? 

It makes me want to cry.  But I feel too peaceful and comforted to cry.  I'm just so sad.  And I never want to move again.

~Ww